The parable of the Prodigal Son that Jesus tells in Luke chapter 15 has been a favorite of mine for many years. God has used this short little story to profoundly impact what I believe about him, what I believe about myself, and the true nature of our relationship. Though usually taught as a picture of redemption and forgiveness for the child gone astray, there are so many more layers to this beautiful story, and it is my joy to share a few of those layers with you in this series!
This is part 2 of a 3 part series where we’ll dig a little deeper into what we can learn from the older son in the parable. You can read more about the younger son in What Is The Parable of the Prodigal Son Really About? Part 1: The Younger Son
THE STORY OF THE PRODIGAL SON: OVERVIEW
In Luke 15:11 Jesus tells the story of a man who had two sons. The younger son asks for his share of the inheriance early, then leaves home and squaders all he has on wild and sinful living. When he had spent everything he had, a famime came upon the land and the son found himself in poverty. He found a job feeding pigs for one of the locals, but when he found himself so starving that he actually envied the slop the pigs were eating, he realized that even the servants in his father’s house lived better than this. He decided to return home and ask his father’s forgiveness, and beg for a low position among the servants.
When he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming, ran to him, threw his arms around him and rejoiced at his return. He had his servants prepare a feast and dress his son in his finest robes and threw a massive celebration.
When the older son came in from the field and heard the party, he learned from a servant that his younger brother had returned. Angry, he stayed outside and refused to join the party. But his father went out after him and pleaded with him to come in. The older son said to his father:
“Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!”
His father answered him: “My son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. BUt we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” (Luke 15:11-31 paraphrased).
WHAT IS THE MAIN MESSAGE OF THE PRODIGAL SON?
The main message of the prodigal son is commonly thought to be about the repentence of sinners and the forgiveness of God, and although that theme is definately there, I believe the truer and deeper meaning of the parable is actually about extravagance.
WHAT DOES “PRODIGAL” MEAN?
The word “prodigal” actually means “spending money or resources freely or recklessly; wastefully extravagant; Having or giving something on a wreckless scale.” Some dictionary definitions use the term “lavish.” (dictionary.com)
Based on this definition, the parable of the Prodigal Son could also be called, “The Parable of the Extravagant/Lavish Father,” since it describes not only the younger son’s extravagance with himself but also the way the Father receives him home at the end.
The Older Son
The older son was busy working out in the field when he heard the sounds of celebration coming from the house. But, instead of going to his father to ask what was happening, he asked one of the servants. Why did he ask a servant? Why didn’t he go to his father directly? I think this is very tellling about the kind of relationship this older son had with his father. His allowed his revenerence and respect for his father to hold him at a distance from him rather than drawing him close in affection. And when the son learned the reason for the celebration, he became angry and again, instead of going directly to his father, went outside and isolated himself in his anger.
What Can We Learn About The Older Son?
It’s so easy to criticize this son for his poor attitude and lack of compassion toward his younger brother, but look deeper.
He Was Hurt
This older boy, who stayed home and worked hard and loved his father deeply, is in pain. When his brother left, it was devastating for him too. It was a bitter betrayal, a clear message that their family was “not enough” for the younger brother, that he was “not enough.” And because this son was a faithful and loyal son, he carried not only his own pain of rejection, but he carried the weight of his father’s pain also. He had been working so hard, not just to avoid causing his father any additional pain, but to some how “make up” for the pain his brother had caused.
He Was Faithful
Faithful children with a heart of obedience often feel this way, don’t they? The weight of responsibility they carry for their parents’ happiness and well-being can be crushing. When they see their beloved parent in pain for any reason, they determine to be the “bright spot,” desparate to alleviate it by being extra cheerful, extra compliant. Anything to lift the heavy cloud of sadness over their home to help a little joy seep in.
He Was Insecure
This faithful older son loved his father like that. They had both been betrayed and deeply wounded by the younger brother’s rejection of their love and their home. He had every right to be angry. But he also desperately needed to be affirmed. He needed to know that his love and faithfulness was not wasted effort, that his hard work and loyalty had not gone unnoticed. His anger was a cry to know he was seen and loved and cherished as well.
Knowing this, the father came out after his older boy and embraced this son also. He didn’t scold or chide him for his anger, but affirmed him and gently invited him into a different perspective. This dutiful son was learning the delicate art of forgiveness and grace.
He Had A Poverty Mentality
The older son couldn’t be extravagant with others because he wouldn’t be extravagant with himself. Because he felt his father’s love must be earned, he spent his days striving, working hard to “deserve” it. He wouldn’t allow himself the luxury of pleasure, or the margin for mistakes, not even an inch. There was so much to do, so much to make up for, so much earn, and not a moment to lose. Extravagance was selfish and wasteful!
4 Lessons We Can We Learn From The Older Son For Our Lives Today
It was an uncomfortable, even painful day when I realized just how much I had in common with this older son. I had held him in such judgment and contempt for his lack of grace and compassion, and no, the irony is not lost on me now! But God in his abundant grace and gentle patience restored me to himself and invited me into his loving perspective. He is teaching me not only how he sees the others, but how he sees me. I am learning that compassion is for me too, and there is peace and joy to be found in the grace of his extravagance.
We Keep Score, But God does Not
The older son’s initial reaction to his father’s invitation is to list all the reasons why he deserves his father’s generosity and his brother does not. All this time, his bitterness had kept a tally in his heart, a scorecard of works. His father’s extravagant grace toward the son who had caused them both so much pain tore his scorecard to pieces, and it felt profoundly unfair. Not only was the younger brother “getting away” with a wrong, but his hard work and loyalty seemed to be unnoticed. This dutiful older son was grieving the loss of a life-long ideology that wasn’t holding up under the weight of his experience.
Extravagance Is Not “Bad”
The older son saw extravagance as “bad.” This is the measuring stick he used to determine worthiness and righteousness. How often do we do this too? Many of us, (myself included) have lived in a poverty mentality, believing the lie that “going without” is somehow more “spiritual,” more “godly,” and enjoying pleasurable things is shallow, immature, “less-than.” How dare the Lord pour out His blessing on others instead! Doesn’t he see how much we give? How much we have sacrificed? Why do reckless people get all the fun, all the forgiveness, and still the inheritance? But the truth is, it’s not whether we’re extravagant that’s the problem. It’s how.
Grace Is Given, Not Owed Or Earned
The younger son takes his father’s grace for granted because he believes it is owed to him. His sense of entitlement prevents him from experiencing true joy and contentment in his father’s relationship because he doesn’t understand its value. The older son, on the other hand, keeps this inner tally of good works because he believes the lie that grace is earned. Where his younger brother didn’t value his relationship with his father, the older son doesn’t understand his relationship with his father. He doesn’t realize that his father’s love and provision are poured out on him not because of what he does, but because of who he is.
Grace Is A Choice And Comes At A Cost
At the end of the parable, the father gently affirms his older boy and invites him into a different perspective. He entreats his son to embrace his brother, and see his return as a resurrection, rather than justification. If he chooses grace, like the father, it will cost him his own pride. It will cost what he feels he has a right to. It will cost him his ideologies. It will cost him his scorecard, and how he has evaluated himself and others all his life. Forgiving and embracing his brother will come at a cost because grace requires sacrifice, and risks being taken for granted.
I wish the story ended with us finding out what the older son chose, but it doesn’t. It ends with the father’s invitation. We don’t get to find out whether or not the son responded to it. Each of us receives the same invitation from our Father, and it’s entirely our choice whether we embrace it or not. Yes, grace will cost us, but so will unforgiveness. Staying out in the cold with nothing but our anger and resentment for company is a lonely place to live, and a land of famine all its own.
Questions For Reflection
- What do you really believe about God as a Father? How would you describe your relationship with him?
- How is this belief reflected in your relationships with others?
- Are you keeping a scorecard in your heart that you need to release?
- Why not take a minute right now and respond to your Father’s invitation to lay down your striving so you can recieve and give grace freely, and come in from the cold.
What Is The Parable Of The Prodigal Son Really About? Part 1: The Younger Son
What Is The Parable Of The Prodigal Son Really About? Part 3: The Father
