A first-born, type A good-girl, I grew up in a God-loving, church-going family. I liked rules and predictable outcomes. I didn’t push the boundaries or rock the boat. Staying within the margins of clearly defined expectations made me feel safe.
Then I became a mom of three beautiful children who turned out to have high needs. Despite my own healthy family upbringing, an education degree and more than 15 years childcare experience, I found myself desperately overwhelmed and ill equipped to parent them. My neatly packaged, predictable life plan was in flames, and the reality was nothing like the brochure. All my rule-following, try-hard-striving, and good-girl-living had gotten me was an inner volcano I couldn’t control. This was not who I was supposed to be.
Finding myself on my knees, empty, dry, and exhausted, my ever-patient saviour met me at the well and restored me sip by sip, question by question. He doesn’t blast us like a firehose, but offers himself to us gently, one cup at a time.
I am learning to sit with Jesus at the well, and the conversations we have had there over the last 10 years have helped me heal and find freedom from anger and anxiety. Like the woman at the well in the gospels, I have found not only my true identity, but peace in his presence, and a place to belong. He offers me a fresh cup of new mercies every morning, and it never runs dry.
There is room at this well for you too, my beautiful friend. Won’t you sit with me a while, and have a cup?