Do you ever look back with wistful nostalgia on how much time you had to yourself before you had kids? I do. All the time. What did I do with all that time? Did I even know what a luxury it was? Of course, I didn’t, because you don’t know watch’ya got til it’s gone, right? And once our kids came along, it wasn’t just my free time that went out the window, my time management skills, in general, seemed to disappear.
I realized fairly early on that I was not one of those moms who can create and stick to a schedule. Although we had some life-saving daily routines within the day, maintaining any sort of lasting structure to our day itself was just. so. hard. and the constant interruptions that define motherhood were exhausting.
Even as the kids grew older and more independent, and I was able to find some “time to myself” a little more often, I just couldn’t seem to use that time well. The running list of all the wonderful, creative, life-giving things I could do was long, but the hour or so I had to do them seemed so short. Usually, too-many-options-not-enough-time-to-decide syndrome would paralyze me and I’d end up doing very little, or nothing at all. Not that doing “nothing” isn’t valuable in itself sometimes, but there were just so many things that I wanted to do. I just couldn’t seem to “get my act together” and do them. Frustrated and exhausted, I felt defeated before I could even begin. I never had time management issues or decision paralysis before I had kids…. What was wrong with me now?
Then a few weeks ago, a podcaster I enjoy mentioned an essay by computer scientist, Paul Graham, called Maker’s Schedule, Manager’s Schedule. Intrigued, I googled his essay right away. It turns out there is more than one way to experience and manage our time, and how this works for us depends more on our unique design than our life circumstances.
The Manager’s Schedule
The manager’s schedule, Graham explains, is the schedule on which most of western society runs. It’s the schedule of businesses and banks, a day of meetings and/or tasks divided into one-hour blocks of appointment times. This is how I watched other mothers, far more adept than me, structure their family’s schedule with activities, chores, playdates, meal times, nap times, and all the rest. Even my husband seemed to be able to divide up a Saturday like this and get everything (or almost everything) on his list done.
The Maker’s Schedule
But there is another way. The other natural work rhythm is the maker’s schedule. People with a maker’s personality need to think of their day in terms of half-day and full-day blocks of uninterrupted time in which to work. A manager’s schedule doesn’t work very well for them because the constant interruptions at 30-60 minute intervals not only interrupts their workflow, it changes the mode they are working in. A meeting scheduled in the middle of the afternoon blows the whole afternoon because the maker has to think about the meeting beforehand, and process it afterward, not to mention the time it takes to actually get to the meeting, and the reminders that have to be set for them to even remember to go. All these extra mental tasks associated with the meeting make the blocks of time before and after the meeting frustratingly short. With all the extra processing, planning, and time required to “get in the zone,” a single hour is just not enough time to accomplish anything hard. It’s barely enough time to even get started! It’s not just about how our schedules work… it’s about how our brains work.
As I read Graham’s essay, a lightbulb came on for me. For many years, and especially this last year, I’ve been operating on a manager’s schedule, trying to work from home while still juggling appointments, commitments, and housework, not to mention the constant interruptions and frustrations of my kids’ back-and-forth remote learning schedules. Combined with some health struggles of my own, the exhaustion and brain fog made remembering things nearly impossible, let alone actually accomplishing anything. When all of your energy goes into keeping 100 plates spinning, and you don’t even have any half days (let alone full days) to yourself, there’s no margin left for creativity, which I’ve discovered, at least for me, is the most depleting of all. As Emily P. Freeman says in episode 185 of The Next Right Thing podcast:
…the actual day-to-day [manager’s] schedule requires from you a level of divided attention and relational energy that keeps you from engaging in your creative work.
Friends, I am a Maker, and I need to make things. I love to make things with words, paint, fabric, music, and food. I like to make plain things pretty. I love making inviting spaces, warm apple pie, and coffee. At the moment I discovered this new way of thinking about time and natural work rhythms, it had been a long, long time since I’d made anything that felt meaningful or life-giving, and it was taking a toll.
With this new understanding of my natural, maker schedule work rhythm, so much of why I’ve struggled to “get things done” finally made sense! Following a significant shift in my work situation recently, I am trying a new approach to how I use time.
How To Shift From A Manager’s Schedule To Maker’s Schedule
Before I had this realization, I used to let the prime calendar real estate get taken up by the more “important” tasks, leaving the “lesser” creative things to last, squeezing them into the little cracks of time in between. Usually, those little windows of time got crowded out altogether, but even if they didn’t, the time would come and go in a blink while I stood in the middle of the living room, blinking, frozen with decision paralysis = time wasted = more frustration = more exhaustion.
For about the last month, I’ve worked at reversing this process. Now, I schedule Maker time first, and Manager tasks second. For now, this looks like scheduling all appointments, errands, and tasks on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are for creating. So far, this is working mostly well, with a few hiccups here and there. Occasional substitute teaching days disrupt this rhythm a bit, but the beauty of knowing how I’m designed and what my natural work rhythm is, is that prioritizing time to be able to be creative is not just important, it’s essential to my wellbeing as a whole person. This transition has not been without its bumps, as change, even good change, is rarely smooth. I’ve read Graham’s essay several times already, and will probably continue returning to it, to help me remember how the Master Maker made me, and remember to be patient with myself. It’s not a perfect process, but it’s never too late to begin, and begin again.
Are You A Maker?
Are you a maker, a mom, and also trying to work from home? This article by Melissa Petro offers some helpful tips for how to make it work. Are you a maker, and a mom, but have no idea where to start or what to make? At the end of her podcast, Emily invites her fellow makers to wake up their creativity with three simple lists to help you pay attention to what makes you come alive:
A Life-Energy List
Over the past month, what has been life-draining for you? What has been life-giving? Write them down.
A Gratitude List
Keep a list of things you are grateful for. You might add to it at anytime as things come to mind, or you might want to jot down 3-5 things every morning or evening. Gratitude draws our attention to beauty, and beauty stirs creativity.
A Happy List
Keep a fun list of things you’ve watched, read, listened to, or best yet, made! Documenting leads to collecting, which can lead to creating!
And one more list of my own:
5 Things I Learned In (Month)
At the end of each month, jot down 5 things you learned. This one kind of holds hands with the gratitude list, but helps us focus on what we have done, rather than what we haven’t, encouraging us to persevere in progress over perfection. Watch for my 5 Things I Learned In February list in the March Newsletter 🙂
Happy creating, friends!