4 Ways to Declutter Your Home and Life

Three years ago, the sheer amount of “stuff” filling my home was suffocating me. It took me so long just to “declutter” the surfaces that I didn’t have any energy left to actually clean them.  That was around the same time I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and my struggle with anxiety was at its worst. Add to that 3 high-needs kids and an over-crowded calendar and it was little wonder I felt like I was drowning. It was time to purge all the things.

I ordered Marie Kondo’s book, The Lifechanging Magic of Tidying Up. I did lots of googling. I did lots of thinking about decluttering. I even did lots of talking about it. Finally, when I just couldn’t stand it anymore, I pushed up my sleeves and got to work.

And it was going well! The emptier my house got, the lighter my lungs felt, but somewhere along the way, I realized that purging the house was just the beginning of what I needed to purge from my life. Far more importantly, I needed to declutter my soul.

I started to realize that many of the strategies I had read and learned about purging my home could also be applied to my life. This process has not only helped me create a more peaceful home for my family, but even more importantly, it has been instrumental in helping my cultivate a more peaceful heart.

Inevitably, (because, well, life), clutter has a way of finding its way back into our lives, this is not necessarily a one time event, especially because it involves a change in lifestyle; a new rhythm, a new thought pattern.  And so, when we found ourselves in the middle of a global shutdown, I was surprised to discover that I actually felt a measure of relief when closures erased many things off of my calendar. A sure-fire sign that it’s time to “declutter”… again.

But as things are beginning to open back up, and our lives begin returning to normal (“ish”), I am determined not to let the clutter back in. Maybe you’re feeling the same way?

I’ve narrowed down all my research and trial-and-error to the 4 basic principles that I have found the most helpful for decluttering both my home, and my life. Here they are:

1. Do I actually need this?

Home: be honest with yourself about whether or not you actually use this “useful” item, instead of whether or not you would like to use this item. Do you actually use that bread maker? Keep it. If you have had that bread maker for 10 years and made bread twice, purge it.

Life: Which commitments are actually necessary and can’t be “purged?” For us it’s medical appointments. We need to keep those appointments to be well and function in our lives. Those can stay. Everything else gets evaluated.

2. Does this bring me joy?

Home: Just because an item in your home doesn’t have a specific purpose/function, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep it. Maybe it’s job is just to add joy to your life. For example, I have a set of 4 little mugs with pictures of fruit on them. They belonged to my grandparents, who are now both home in Heaven. Every time I would visit, my nana would make me a cup of tea in those mugs. They’re not very pretty or very big, so I don’t use them often, but every time I open the cupboard I see them stacked there on the shelf and remember sitting at my Nana’s table, my hands wrapped around that little mug, and the warmth of her presence and it brings me joy. Whether I ever use them or not, they’re staying.

Life: Does this commitment/activity/opportunity breathe life into my soul, or am I doing it out of a sense of guilt or obligation? Sit with it for a while in the quiet. Practice saying “yes” to it. Practice saying “no.” Notice what happens in your body with each answer. Does your chest feel lighter or heavier? Do you feel your muscles relax, or constrict? These important clues help us discern which things are from the Lord and which are not. I love how The Passion Translation phrases Matthew 11:28-30:

“Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.”

If this commitment or “opportunity” feels more like a burden, if the weight of it makes your body constrict, chances are it’s not yours to bear. Out it goes.

3. Why am I attached to this item?

Home: In her book, Marie Kondo writes that when she has a client that is still struggling to purge something that they don’t use or love, it’s usually because they either have an unhealthy attachment to the past, or a fear of the future. I had a hard time purging my daughter’s baby clothes because she was our last baby and our only girl. I was so nostalgic about the days when she was tiny that it was preventing me from fully embracing and enjoying the new season we were now in with older children. I decided to keep my three favorite outfits for each child and let the rest go. I also had a hard time letting go of my giant, industrial sized coffee maker because what if I need that one day!? In sixteen years of marriage, do you know how many times I have needed to make enough coffee for 40 people in my home? Zero. Zero times. Out it goes.  

Life: I suspect this is especially relevant to ministries and family “traditions.” Any time that I have had difficulty laying one of these two things down, it’s either because I can’t let go of the past season when that ministry/tradition was life giving, or I’m afraid of the future consequences of letting it go. But the reality is, just like the seasons, our lives change. Our circumstances change. The needs of the people we serve change. We change.  Either way, we can’t embrace our current season and the new and beautiful thing that God is doing in our lives and ministries right now, if we hold too tightly to what he did way back then. And if God is leading you into a new season, say, of rest, and it’s time for that particular ministry to end or shift, then any consequences of that are His, not yours. Is it not His ministry, after all? There are many good reasons to do or not do something, but don’t let fear be one of them.

4. If I could describe the life I want in one word, what would it be? Does this item help me (and my family) have that life?

Home: The word I chose is peaceful. As I was decluttering rooms in my home, I realized that I had an awful lot of décor that had words/sayings on it. Even once that room was purged and clean, it didn’t feel peaceful to me. It turns out that being surrounded by so many words was noise to my soul. So I put away almost everything that had “words” or sayings on it. I even took store labels off of storage bins and turned the books on my shelf around so that the pages side was facing out and the spines faced the wall. Some people thought I was crazy, but you know what? The room felt more peaceful! To this day I am still very particular about how many things in a room have “words” on them. If there are any, it’s probably a bible verse.

Life: Our children are not involved in very many extracurricular activities. In fact, only one child is in one activity. We encourage the other two to each choose one activity a year from our local leisure guide. It’s only a 6-8 week commitment and gives them the opportunity to try a variety of different things. This works for us because neither one of those children have found an activity that they love enough to commit to long term. If that ever changes, then we will have involved conversations about it, because for every box we check as a family, we uncheck something else. But for now, in this season, because of the needs of our family and my own health limitations, we have decided that our children are better served by a rested mom and a peaceful home environment than by lots of outside activities. Don’t get me wrong, extracurricular activities are very good things, but just because something is good, doesn’t mean it’s the right time. As our kids grow, schools return to capacity and our needs change, we will re-evaluate.

Well, there you have it! My condensed list of questions I ask myself every time I find myself in a season of “decluttering” something. If you are finding yourself in a season of transition in your home or in your life and struggling with what to keep and what to toss, I hope some of these questions will help you in your decisions.

Here is a list of resources that I have found particularly helpful. While most of these links are specific to decluttering your home, stop and ask yourself: How can I also apply this practice to my life?

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo – I can’t seem to find a link for just this little book by itself for some reason, but this link is for two of her books combined into one.

How to Give Your Home a Fresh Start Without Joy-Spark Testing Everything You Own, and Your Surfaces Declare Your Purpose by the Nester

White Space by my friend, Samantha Hanni

Becoming a Soul Minimalist by Emily P. Freeman

And of course, since I am forever preaching to my own heart first, I have realized that creating more “white space” in my own life this summer means that I can only post twice a month instead of every week. I’m disappointed about that, but alas, it is necessary. I am, however, looking forward to having more time to write in the Fall. I am also working on a little something that I am excited to share with you in September!

Stay tuned! 😉

And now I am going to declutter the basement I’ve been avoiding, (eye roll).